An Open Letter to a Thief



Dear whoever tried to break into our house at roughly 4:30 am,

There are approximately five windows in every room (no panes). Our doors are mostly made of glass. I don't know what you were trying to accomplish with that bike/front porch bashing action against the screen door, but to break into our house, you probably would have done better if you had just broken the glass. Sure, we would have freaked out, locked ourselves in our rooms and called the police, but hey, we did that anyway.
Conclusion: You are more than marginally incompetent. Consider changing your chosen career.

Sincerely,
One of the frightened tenants