Thanks for nothing, Cosmo!

In their new September issue, Cosmo published an article called, "A New Kind of Date Rape." Essentially, all that the article posits that much non-consensual "sex" is not rape, but gray rape, Never mind that non-consensual sex is the definition of rape itself. The term was coined by Laura Sessions Stepp. She defines gray-rape as "sex that falls somewhere between consensual and denial." "Gray rape" is not a concept supported by experts or those working in the field of sexual assault and abuse. All of the women interviewed in the article were clearly forced into sex, each said no, and each one was physically overcome, with the exception of a woman who was unconscious. Call me old fashioned, but that sure sounds like "rape" to me, not "sex," not "gray rape."
I wrote a letter to Cosmo, expressing my concern over the article, and my fear that all a term like "gray rape" really does it let the rapist off the hook and force the blame onto the victim. I mentioned that I feel that it's significant that most states include sex in an altered state (read: drugs, alcohol) as rape, whether or not that legal definition is enforced properly. I received this response yesterday afternoon:

Dear Reader,
We received your letter of concern regarding our September story “A New Kind of Date Rape” and want to address what seems to be a misunderstanding. Cosmopolitan did not invent the term gray rape. The phrase emerged when the author of our article, Laura Sessions Stepp, was researching a book on today’s hookup culture.
In fact, the words were used by women who were left confused after a sexual encounter they were not one hundred percent sure they had consented to and by women who had known friends who were similarly confused. The confusion, many of these women admitted, was the result of having been under the influence of alcohol at the time of the encounter. Our article endeavored to help victims in these situations make sense of their ordeal, explain their avenues of recourse, and offer advice on how women can prevent so-called gray rapes from happening.
Cosmopolitan has a long history of covering the topic of sexual assault and, more important, of being an advocate for victims. Linda Fairstein, a former Manhattan sex-crimes prosecutor of 25 years, is a regular contributor to our pages. She and other rape experts applaud Cosmopolitan’s efforts to keep our readers educated about such difficult issues as sexual assault.
Sincerely,
The Editors of Cosmopolitan

So thanks for setting me straight Cosmo. Thanks for letting me know that the term "emerged," and that you know women, some of whom know people who have been raped, since that changes everything. Thanks for telling me that I simply misunderstood the entire article, and missed it's point. I don't feel insulted at all. Thank you for addressing my concerns by insinuating that I just don't understand the complexity of an issue like rape. It's not like I have any experience relating to such a complex topic, and it certainly isn't possible that I might actually know anyone who has ever been raped, which i suppose makes you the expert.
So fine Cosmo. I guess I just don't get it - but I'm inclined to think that I do get it, and I am further inclined to believe that you seem unable to claim any responsibility for publishing an article that is misleading when confronted with it.